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May / June 2006 Article

International Etiquette
How not to be an ugly American

In the United States people wait their turn in line. In much of Europe, it’s more of a melee. In the US, people keep a good distance between them and the person in front. In most other countries, any space is an open invitation for someone to cut in. Forming a line (or queue) is such a simple everyday act, but don’t take your way for granted…or take offense when it doesn’t work in another country.

The concept of personal space alone could be the subject of an entire treatise. North Americans like two feet or more when in a conversation with someone. So do the Australians and Northern Europeans. Not so in Mediterranean or Latin American countries. And, if you feel your personal space being invaded, pulling back is rude.

Fortunately, there’s lots of help in cyberspace for those who want to be good visitors abroad. And, there are guidelines that are nearly universal, except in the U.S.  Here are 12 to keep in mind:

1. Business dress. Conservative, dark suits for men and conservative dark suits and dresses for women are always safe. Exposing too much or wearing bright colors is not recommended. Start conservative, then follow the lead of the people you are visiting.
2. Pointing and summoning. Don’t use your index finger. Use your entire hand to point. To summon someone, extend your arm with palm down and wave your fingers in toward your palm.
3. Punctuality. For business meetings, it’s best for you to be on time. But bring something to read. Often, your local host may keep you waiting quite a while.
4. Entertaining. In most of the world, most entertaining is done in restaurants. If you get invited to someone’s home it is unusual and a real honor. Be sure to bring a gift, flowers or chocolates, and send a written thank you afterwards.
5. Elders. In most every region of the world, age and respect go together. When meeting people, acknowledge the oldest first.
6. Business cards. When traveling in the Far East, have cards printed on one side in English and the other in the language of the country you are visiting. Present the card at the beginning of the meeting with both hands. And, be sure to carefully inspect and save the cards presented to you.
7. Forms of address. Use titles before a person’s name at the beginning of a relationship. Do not use a first name until invited to do so and do not suggest people call you by your first name until then. Even if you are a personal friend, do not call your friend by his or her first name in a business meeting.
8. Sitting. Don’t sit with your shoe souls pointing at anyone and don’t put your feet up on furniture. (Your mother told you this, anyway, didn’t she?)
9. Gift giving. The custom varies from region to region. To give or not? To open it in front of the host or in private? What is appropriate? Sharp objects are universally a no no, as are flowers often found at funerals, chrysanthemums especially. And don’t bring coals to Newcastle. Presenting a Mexican with silver or someone from France with wine is tantamount to an insult since they are justifiably proud of their own products and expertise. Check individual countries in the resources below for specific advice.
10. Accepting a gift or an offer of refreshment. In the Far East, refusing three times is polite. Then you accept. In Germany, if you refuse once, they take you at your word. They won’t offer again.
11. Standing posture. Don’t stand with your hands in your pocket or on your hips. That is considered rude. In general be conscious of your body language.
12. Small talk. Safest subjects include national sports and genuine compliments on the country and surroundings

Some cultural differences in specific countries are worthy of mention.

• Australia. Status does not impress Australians. Don’t boast or recite your credentials. They prefer to make their own decisions about your merits. If you are taken out for “shouts”, you are expected to pay for a round when your turn comes.
• Japan. Silence is acceptable and not considered uncomfortable. It can give time for reflection. However, silence is not allowed if you are invited out to karaoke. You are expected to sing.
• India. You may shake hands with men but wait to see if a woman offers hers.
• China and Egypt. At a meal, do not leave a clean plate. They will think they haven’t fed you well enough if you do.
• Italy. Dress well. Your hosts will.
• Turkey. A head nodding out and down is a “yes”. A head nodding sideways or up with eyebrows raised is a “no.”

Behavior Abroad Advice
Three years ago, a group of businesspeople became so concerned about the image of American’s abroad that they formed a non-profit organization called Business for Diplomatic Action. Since then they’ve been at work on a World Citizens Guide to help student and business travelers to better represent the United States when overseas. Based on research, they came up with behavior advice that may seem obvious, but obviously is not observed enough. The advice includes to dress better, tone down loud voices, and listen.

Country by Country Help
Thoroughly confused? It’s best to check out one country, or region, at a time. The two web sites below offer detailed help by nation - Executive Planet and CyborLink.

Visa and Safety Information
Knowing something about a country is always a compliment to your hosts. Before you go, study up on the place and be sure to check out the State Department’s Consular Information Sheets. They provide a brief overview of a country, entry/exit requirements, and any safety concerns.

Tipping Tips
The troublesome topic of tipping is covered somewhat in the two international etiquette sites above. For two helpful sites on tipping abroad, check out:

• Washington Post Travel Section (May be in archives and require fee)
• International Tipping Chart